No Reserves, No Retreats, No Regrets

This week, I 1. caught up with my sis in one of the most agreeable discussions we've had, over something we disagree over, and 2. found out I've prejudices that I gotta make my peace with. 3. am easily stressed out by my family; haven't been spending enough time with them. 4. am becoming my mum. 5. need to 'relac one corner' more & see what happens. 6. have been constantly asking how and why anyone would undertake such a massive responsibility as bringing up children. 7. realized why I don't like to sleep. Haven't had a good dream in a while. 8. realized I really need to do what I say I believe in, and rely more on God. 9. threw my hands up at ever being able to use logic to overcome prejudice. 10. enjoyed hanging out with my cousins more than I ever have done. 11. learnt to like Monopoly Deal... only because I almost won. ;) 12. learnt that cold really is all in the mind. Except when you bathe, then it's real. 13. decided that I need to become more ...

I think I finally understand what used to get me down about family holidays, especially the month-long types squeezed in a single house with 3 other families you were happy talking to once a month or so. It takes getting used to seeing your mum as someone else's sister, or to see your aunt being chided on child-caring techniques by her older sisters. And personally, to be a dutiful daughter, my brother's keeper, a shopping companion and just wanting to curl up and read something, takes decision to face it all cheerfully. Still, I'm grateful for this chance to catch up with relatives from another country, another culture and upbringing, as well as my own family. If anything, it's freeing to do all this in another place where the only work demands can be contained in the laptop. Out of sight, out of mind. :D Learning how to be 100% present. Had a conversation with my bro where I said whatever I'd wanted to say for the last year, in 5 minutes. Maybe we don't need m...

Saw this quote on Jeanzei's desktop: "The nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools." - Thucydides, 431 BC Am I a coward? I hope when it comes down to a fight, I'd have the courage to roll up my sleeves and get in the thick of things. :) I hope that for all of us soon-to-be graduates. The world certainly needs it.

Aunt Karen just called mum to discuss plans for the trip to Whistler. awesomeawesomeawesome... no matter how cold it gets, and how early the sun sets, snowboarding will be worth it all! but seriously i'll be missing everyone in Singapore. i'm already feeling homesick every night thinking of all the things i'll be missing... no, check that, trading for time spent with family. :) no regrets, just... yeah. :'D thinking... i really wanna go for habitat for humanity. that's what's been keeping me off from the job hunt. but then i think of my parents, and i think that's selfish of me. i wish i didn't have to worry about money... so that i can give it to where it's needed. however 'World peace'-ish that might sound, it really doesn't feel good saying sorry, i can't, i'm broke. another random post marking procrastination... i should be studying now... BUT in my defense, this exam is seriously TOO drawn out. put me out of my misery nowwww ...

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

hormones are powerful things. i need to find back the joy i had before i knew things, despite knowing them. i can live with the tension - i just need more of You, even if it means more of it.

every decision comes at a cost. out of the various choices open to you at any one point in time, your commitment to ONE costs you the potential benefits from other choices. So at what cost are we willing to pay for fame, money, stability, satisfaction? the social network movie made me angry . i will not venture to comment on the real characters of the portrayed actors involved - it's not my business anyway. but what 'parker' and 'zuckerberg' did to 'saverin', and making that comment about the borrowed $19,000? low blow man... nobody ought to be treated like that. no matter what they did or did not do. period. and it made me think how much we can get away with, hiding under the glorified cause of 'living passionately for a dream'. does it have to come with the price tag of relationships & human dignity? what right does anyone have to elevate himself above others (that 'farm animals' comment still rankles) based on the premise that he is se...