No Reserves, No Retreats, No Regrets

gonna plow into work that i should have done but haven't done. eeks. but obviously i'm still procrastinating a little here... ARGH really a bit sianded of assignments that take at least 11 hrs to finish. GOD here here dun forget me e ee ... begin operation ACTION. time to live my life man.

i think seriousness is misunderstood. sometimes it isn't that a person is dull, and incapable of having fun. sometimes it simply means that, due to personal reasons, a person has chosen to forgo that right to say or do certain things. i don't want to go with the flow anymore. i think i make that clear often enough. perhaps because i did not settle it within myself once and for all to make that departure of things better left behind to memories, and childhood days... that i end up getting detached from people and myself. my granddad passed away this week. i dunno what to think about the timing of it all - how he passed away due to his lung infection on monday morning, and how his wake ended on friday, thereby taking up the whole study break week. it was fortunate. i wouldn't want to - or have the mood to - attend lessons and put on a face when all i want to do is be there for all the times i haven't been. i'm glad that God spared me from having to decide between fa...

summary: I've written a BIO essay, read a book (starting on another) and learnt a Chinese song today. Joanne takes a bow. ;D

;P totally pon-10 the whole of yesterday & slept in! i'm quite amazed cos for the first time in weeks, i woke up un-tired! that proves that i should do this more often... ;X lol... no lah.. but i'm quite relieved, my semester's lightening up... lab this sem has been restricted to a few sessions only so now i'm FREE... YAY.. had a v thought-provoking talk with Shuiyong online last night. it was totally in line with Pst's call on us to HOLD ON to our dreams and our vision to be creative and bold for God.. lol, i can talk about this cos there's 90% chance he won't read this ;> but seeing him so passionate about bands and music, even while he aspires to go into business line, it challenged me again to live beyond the boundaries that society sets us. so i'm totally gonna gear up and pursue my dream... to be an animator like Hayao Miyazaki!!! ;D haha.. but i'm learning to step out in faith for this because i've heard my parents' worrying ove...

For God has not given you a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. - (NLT) 2 Timothy 1:7 This verse has become real to me these past few weeks. I've experience fear, timidity, insecurity, inadequacy, rebellion, discouragement, depression and weariness... because I let stress overcome me. I believed what my circumstances told me and struggled to keep a heart that believes God's promises. I've always wondered why my breakthroughs always seem to be so brief. Despite all the great revelations and knowing that I must be faithful and not keep yoyo-ing (in everything; emotions, spiritual life, discipline etc.), it's surprising how things can slip out of my control without me even knowing. Even though I struggled with going for CG on Saturday, ministry on Sunday and leaders' meeting on Monday, IT WAS WORTH IT. I need the kick in the butt. And I need to learn how to fall...on my knees. BRING IT ON!

Pheweee.. after almost starting a combo of non-tallying-cashier-experiences, i've finally tallied my cashier counter today! Yay.. one less person who wants to kill me. =) k.. assignments calling. just a random post to revive my blog a bit.

Freedom isn't freedom till there is the freedom to make mistakes. - Mahatma Gandhi Here I am at 3.16 am on a Thursday morning, with a pile of books beside me, and class starting at 9 am tomorrow. Wow - I'm quite happy that I've finally got the motivation to get started. Seriously, think the ranting-cum-laughing I had just now w the gals and bear really helped. Sometimes, despite the busy schedule, it really helps to do the things that are important to you. Even if it might mean less sleep and studying into the night - like now. Think God is really dealing with my past issues. It really is necessary to KNOW what's the purpose of going through tough stuff, periods, situations - especially during times when you really need to be at your optimal. When people left, right, centre, are demanding from you to perform for them at the standards they demand, more often than not without placing your welfare into the equation, you need to FIND OUT from God what stuff He's doing i...

Once it rains, that's it for me. Only a blanket and my bed can make me smile like this cat - even in my sleep. grumble grumble