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Showing posts from March, 2007

take a hold of me

just picture a full page of 'awesome's.. that's how i feel right now. Rare! Haha.. in context, rare tt i'd feel this way aft a mass blog-reading session. But - oh man, totally awesome, i'll prob be talking abt this new fact i discovered to you guys later. XD
woo hoo! made my week!
=) sometimes it really takes those fellow 'charcoal pieces' i call my cg-mates n buddies, to really keep me burning for the RIGHT desires. If i just pop off for a break, i know i can't burn on by myself cos it's just my nature to just sit tt and look black and dusty. yup. that sums up the whole revelation. lol!

Through deprivation, things increase in value. Totally understood. Complacency is based on the little things - that chair won't break when you sit on it, or yea, i'll see you tomorrow.

i read this book on this elderly ppl who met n fell in love, n how they were all war veterans in the navy, n it struck me, YEA! those elderlies we see in their 60…


This is Canada '06-07, -2 degrees at the Grand Canyon!

MWAHAHA~ Ai & Jean! >
I've been giving some thought to what you asked, MK - how can God be so terrifying and yet so loving at the same time?

When i was young, i greatly disliked the time of the day when my parents came home from work. i guess they must have been really stressed up because all i remembered about them in that point of time were scoldings and doors slamming. i remember my mom grabbing a long cardboard roll and shouting at us to get out of the room, but she stood between us and the door, meaning to give us a whack as we obeyed her.

but then i would also remember how my mom would get up at 5 to prepare breakfast for us - i don't remember her complaining for those 6 years of my primary school years. i think she understood that we were just children, we couldn't understand.

and it's only now that i can understand what God's love is like. in everything that my mom does, be it scolding, lecturing or giving us kisses and staying up to watch korean dramas with us, she has never waver…
There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait on You

Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Consuming fire fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God won't You fall in this place
Lord have your way Lord have your way in us

Stir it up in our hearts Lord
Stir it up in our hearts Lord
Stir it up in our hearts Lord a passion for your name

As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…
I will remember :

using ppl like Melissa and Sheila to bring me to you
the 'always back to square 1' talk with Mindy
the 'NOW is the time' talk with Chuting over the phone
Alison calling exactly when I was feeling depressed
how it feels in your presence
when you took me back time and time again
when no one understood, you did
your bottling my tears
how gentle you are
that you like to party too!
that you don't want to judge me
the victory you sacrificed your dreams to fight for me
having to trust u abt my future
your bringing my family together
your hand on my shoulder
the Rockies - they were BEAUTIFUL, thank you!
how you watched over my cousins even though they are so far away
how you took away Aunt Beng Hay's pain
the first time i felt you
the stayover at June's
how you used my sister to exhort me
that you understand everything i go through, even now
that you wrestled with your self-esteem too
that all the animals and things i enjoy abt life, is because of…

Monday blues?

Wow.. I think I totally agree with Jean about the usefulness of an mp3/iPOD etc. Haha.. when you're stuck with a list of no-brainer jobs and told to slowly go through them as there doesn't seem much to do at present, it really helps keep you awake - music/sermons.. lol.. leaves a good impression on my supervisors! Haha.. as I listened to the sermons (shuffle music), I went from drowsy & grumpy to 'amen! preach it pastor!' LOL..

I think I'll hear about Phil Pringle's message on prayer everyday till I get my prayer walk right with God. How intimately he describes that elusive relationship with God! As I listened - and deleted accounts simultaneously - I really had to struggle to stop from crying. This great emptiness in my heart really opened up - again, that stirring from great restlessness which I always felt upon contemplation of my future. I've always prayed, ironically, for the discipline to pray and a greater love for God. I guess I must sound strang…


You Are An INFP
The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Check it out! =0 How come i feel it's accurate for others but ~.~ for me? =*

Forgot my password...

It's my personal conviction that whatever you write or say should act as a mirror. It's not always right - what your opinion is, your attitude about something etc etc - and it takes more to reflect on what your emotions really mean, than just to vent your feelings online to derive the satisfaction of everyone 'listening in'. It's great though to read back on previous diary entries, reminisce and appreciate how far I've grown. Which is why despite really disliking myself for not walking the talk in previous blog entries, I think I'd rather get over it and just understand where the diatribe came from.

Haha.. i guess that thought came from the recent 'I just can't click with the others' remarks that I heard. I know how it is when someone you want to spend time with somehow makes you feel rejected or unwelcome. Haha.. been there, done that, got the T-shirt. But it's really only when I got to the point where enough is enough - what do I care h…