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Monday blues?

Wow.. I think I totally agree with Jean about the usefulness of an mp3/iPOD etc. Haha.. when you're stuck with a list of no-brainer jobs and told to slowly go through them as there doesn't seem much to do at present, it really helps keep you awake - music/sermons.. lol.. leaves a good impression on my supervisors! Haha.. as I listened to the sermons (shuffle music), I went from drowsy & grumpy to 'amen! preach it pastor!' LOL..

I think I'll hear about Phil Pringle's message on prayer everyday till I get my prayer walk right with God. How intimately he describes that elusive relationship with God! As I listened - and deleted accounts simultaneously - I really had to struggle to stop from crying. This great emptiness in my heart really opened up - again, that stirring from great restlessness which I always felt upon contemplation of my future. I've always prayed, ironically, for the discipline to pray and a greater love for God. I guess I must sound strange to God - like, Dad, I don't love you that much, help me.

What fills your eyes when you're in the valley? It's either the ground or the mountain ahead of you.

That there's only one thing that can ever fill up that emptiness I felt at work today, made me really listen up to what Phil Pringle was talking about. My worth and value, which I've always struggled to prove with appearances, other people's opinions, accomplishments and grades - is only wholly realized by God's acceptance of who I am.

I don't have to check my words, fearing that God will get angry or hurt.
I don't have to argue to feel that He's on my side anyway.
I don't have to do anything to get Him to love me.
I just have to yield.

Oral Robert's son : If there's anything you got out of this, I'd want it to be this; God's in charge, and I'm not. When God says 'jump', I'm to say 'how high?' on the way up!

Phil Pringle: You always hear how others say 'It's not a religion, it's a relationship!' but often times I wonder if these people know God. I mean, do they have a face-to-face encounter with God going on in their lives?

--> I've always fallen back on those rare handful of encounters I had in my early years as a Christian but suddenly I realized that not to have one everyday, meant that I'm really missing out on something. It's like what Sheila said; catching up with each other once in 5 years just because we don't want to be open, reveal our true selves. There's something greatly dissatisfying about that.

Haha.. Phil Pringle painted how the normal 'quiet time' flies by - you're praying, praying, and then thoughts like 'oh, how did that get there? let me clear that up.. oh God, lift up the church.. oh, i've been looking for that!' etc etc. Lol.. that's exactly what I struggle with! My very flesh cannot deal with sitting still and waiting! But what he said next: Real prayer = I'm going past the courts, the altar, the inner chamber, past the veil that is Jesus to the Holy of Holies! A conscious decision, choice, series of steps to make!

That's the HOW to prayer. =)


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