No Reserves, No Retreats, No Regrets

I think I've lost the taste for a holiday where I can just slack off - because I can't even enjoy not doing anything anymore! But that's not necessarily bad - I really need to gear up and be 100% present with my body, and not spaced out in books and ideas all the time. Let's call it taking a leaf from Jangsta's book. Haha.. shoutout to the most enthusiastic-about-life, can-do gal I know! =D Been meditating on the Book of Luke. When you go through dry times, or times when you have to wait patiently for an answer, Luke's a great book to study to seek out the personality of Jesus. Luke 6:1-11, about Jesus being the Lord of the Sabbath. Everything, Everything is really about Jesus. It's hard to be a 20-something, stepping into independence, and not yearn for material things, be ambitious for the life we have been studying for, or the freedom to do what we want, go where we'd like. But doing all that, getting all that just doesn't satisfy anymore - not ...

It's true! Perfect love casts out all fear. Looking back, I realize that all the mistakes and offenses that others have made against me, have all been imperfections or differences of others which God has used to shape me. In that same vein, it must be true that God can use me whether or not I feel adequate or not, or even when I'm aware or not, to help others in one way or another. Like what AR Bernard said, God is always working! Understanding that God is a God who is always ready to give us a cleanup and a new slate each day... it really does away with a lot of limits I set upon myself. Some maybe well-intentioned, not wanting to be a stumbling block, not wanting to say the wrong thing... But people are tougher than we think, and we aren't doing it all on our own. God is always there to be more than sufficient for our weaknesses. That said, thanks God for teaching me mercy, and to listen more than I talk. I think I still need practice though.

Rest is more enjoyable when I've really worked. I definitely could do with more prayer, more listening to where God wants me to go. A lot of the time, my heart is in one place, but duty calls in another. Whatever it is, a simple regime has helped me this week - setting aside time everyday to thank God about something, learning to look at little things in a different way, not despising the small things =) I don't know what got me started on researching on random things I always wondered about but never got around to finding out (actually, I know, lack of work. But I've learnt to shut up and enjoy worklessness sometimes =)). The Holocaust is one example. Wow - it really got me thinking how good we have it. No matter where we are now, we are always better than the generations that have passed us - because even though we have let go of a lot of romanticism and idealism, values, chivalry, honor etc., it is in pursuit of collective knowledge. (For example, Knowing that discrimina...

i just wanna start it over - in a good way =) taking the good and leaving the bad, just redoing this whole mindset of how limited and undeserving and etc. reasons why i shouldn't/can't chase after the things in my heart. i seriously don't get why Alice in Wonderland got the criticisms it got! loved it to bits. was seriously craved for entertainment and society this week but i shall not complain because i love being tired-but-happy =) the movie made my week! i totally love Alice & how she dared to break all the limitations society and she had set in her life! it's true, boldness comes from the Holy Spirit. anyway, proof of switchfoot awesomeness: (ehhh can't embed...) check out 'This is Home' by Switchfoot, official music vid!