Skip to main content

life

i've always toed the line.
wear the hats life gives you.
censor what you say because not everyone understands.
keep it in because not everyone wants to hear it.
change because you should be relevant.
give because your friend needs a shoulder to cry on.
do it because others are busy.

but
when my finances run out
when my strength fails
when my heart is sore
when i wish to have time aside
when i just need someone to take me seriously

it's hard to wait
and wait
for You to come to my defense

then i remember
how so many times i tested you
out of desperation
to ask for that one sign that you hear
you show up
you gave me rest from my tears
you held me up from the inside
instead of pity
you gave me empathy
you let me know that it matters to you
how i feel
even when i complain
and am filled with bitterness
you never tell me to suck it in
or tell me what's expected of me
you let me know there's space
in you
for me
a person like me
so i can find rest and a refuge
a covering for my weaknesses
that i might understand
and one day
do the same for others.
continue to help me
Lord.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait on You

Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Consuming fire fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God won't You fall in this place
Lord have your way Lord have your way in us

Stir it up in our hearts Lord
Stir it up in our hearts Lord
Stir it up in our hearts Lord a passion for your name

As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…

ex-clusivity

Haven't given much attention to the news ever since work started, so yeah, the General elections were an eye-opener, but absolutely no clue about the upcoming Presidential elections. Something I don't like about the media (and ironically, social media): its limited scope - it cannot possibly capture the feelings of the mass majority, yet so much weightage is given to what is published. Inevitably, the loudest voice gets heard, not necessarily the wisest or the more representative.

Just watched American History X again. Dunno, some days you just feel prepared to take on the violent stuff you know? (As evident, movies like this just give me sleepless nights...)

So, 0236 hours. What am I thinking... Well, it doesn't take much for us to hate. Us, as in, any human. It doesn't even matter if we really went through stuff, like how the main characters' father got murdered. All it takes is for us to get the perception that we were wronged, our rights were withheld or stolen…

hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…