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quality conversation

Was just talking to a friend - interestingly, on the topic of writing. Strange how the faster you try to grow up, the more you realize that who you really are could very well be epitomized by who you were as a child. Or maybe it was the intensity by which we, as children, believed in things.

Like how I believed that I would one day be the youngest person to author a book (hey that's what kids do alright, dream!). I remember how I'd save up money to buy paper, and how the collection of fresh pages would get me excited about my next short story. There was the endless days of poring through books... then reading through them again and again to get something new from the pages. Then Christopher Paolini penned his first book, Eragon, at the age of 15. And I dropped that dream.

Same with animation. Same with dancing. Same with music. It makes me think what I'm actually driven by? I'm glad I dropped those dreams then, if my motivation wasn't right. It reminds me of Coach Carter's comment, "What gives you the right to taint the game that I love with trash talk and taunting? What gives you the right to wear Richmond on your chests and act like punks?"

In the end everything we do, isn't gonna just affect ourselves. Granted it's cathartic to just let loose and 'be real'... and we always wish that our audience would be mature enough not to be stumbled or led in the wrong direction by what we write... but sometimes it's better to hold back when the only thing you know, is how much you do not know. I mean, how hard is it to mouth off - sometimes we don't even think through what we say, and analyze if we really mean it? Anyone can do it.

In the end it doesn't come down to the intellect - how well-rounded, or cogent, or persuasive your argument is. In the end it boils down to your intentions, motives and attitude when you write. And that is why I still don't hold with spending a whole lot of time on the Internet. I need to see the faces, the gestures that accompany the words - the intangibles are another language in themselves. It takes great acting to hide the message in body language - and besides, I'd rather hear geniune laughter than distinguish the nuances between a laugh (haha) and a laugh in caps (HAHA).

"I want to spend the rest of my life alive!" - Switchfoot

I'm also going to seemingly contradict myself by saying that I want to return to writing again. Like we learn in church: write it down. With my head in a whirl 90% of the time nowadays, I guess it's the only way to grasp some permanence for my thoughts.

Alright, signing off. The abovementioned head-whirling's happening now.

Comments

_annonymous said…
love the thought :)
_annonymous said…
love the thought :)
dotdotD said…
:) ahhh why anonymous

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