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Here ache, there ache, everywhere ache!
That's a summary of how going back for POS training after a 1.5 yr hiatus does to you! hahaha~ but no regrets - seeing people (jc2s!) sacrificing sleep, studies, family time n comfort to put together a performance to inspire other youths to get on fire, it's either you get it or you don't.
Haha.. I remember again how tiring Emerge conference is, both before and during the whole event. BUT like wat many say, if you don't get involved physically, you can't get the most out of the conference spiritually. It's not too late guys!
Thank God, that He's really blessed my family time - quality, not quantity. ><
Last Sunday, we celebrated Mom's Day (get ahead of the crowd this week! hehe.. smart move eh.. Mom's idea, not mine!) at Changi Airport's Swensons. Woohoo... everyone was just leaving room for the ice cream la! Anyway, Swensons has really improved their menu so really, a RECOMMENDATION here for u guys racking ur brains for a venue for celebrating Mom's Day this week.
It was great. It's real rare for our family to go out tgt, much less to experience a GOOD time tgt - frankly, and sad to say. As you grow older, there's less you seem to want to tolerate about each other. It was the same for recent holidays, and recent outings. Just dinner, lots of tension, lots of lectures, rolling eyes and then home to locked doors and tantrums.
But really slowly, learning to give way to each other. Like what I commented, if we all stop doing what irritates each other the most, (& usually it's just the little things like talking real loud, whistling, taking up too much space while eating etc.) then we wouldn't really be ourselves. If we can accept each other n compromise on stuff that isn't like, fatal to give in to - i mean, c'mon, there's no need for high-society etiquette when you're with family - then i say, just give in n save your heart the high blood pressure.
Anyway, yea... I'm glad tt the past few weeks have been a lesson on making decisions before getting emotional, n standing by your word. I said I would, so i will. If anything, it has helped me stick to not only showing up at church, but BEING there 100%, from getting into praise & worship to sermon. It's amazing how much revelation u get when u make up your mind to really understand and mean what you are singing through the 5-6 odd songs that you sing to God each wk at church!
I am starting to understand freedom.
I am starting to understand what Moses meant by "I'm not going anywhere UNLESS You go with me!"
I am starting to be jealous for Jacob's Spirit: wrestling with God not because he deserves anything from God, but BECAUSE of the person he is, he can't do WITHOUT God.
I am starting to forgive myself for only just beginning to understand. :) One day I will get why I had to go through so many cycles of the same struggles n mistakes. Till then, brace myself n get ready for the next adrenaline rush!


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But I made it back with my life. And I'm humbler for the attempt, though how could I resist the parting shot: "I'll be back!"?

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hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…