Skip to main content

toughen up

how to have your own mind and yet be accepting? how to be decisive and not be overbearing? how to be tough and not hardened?

how to be 'innocent as a dove, and shrewd as a snake'?

* * *

sometimes i hold back, not because i disapprove, but more because i don't know what to think about it. it's kinda being in the middle of an essay, still not sure what the conclusion is, but giving room for both sides of the argument. maybe for the sake of people who've already made up their minds, i should decide soon. even if it means having a different stand.

* * *

read "The Love Languages of God" by the author of "The 5 Different Love Languages" the past few days. think it really gave me a handle towards understanding people better. it didn't strike me as being very important when we were first taught about different love languages - how different individuals feel loved when it comes in a specific form. it was somewhere with the conclusions of quizzes and personality tests.

but when you're in a big group of friends, or a kaleidoscope of a family where no one resembles anyone else, understanding another person's love language equates to understanding why he behaves the way he does, why he worships God the way he does and what happens when he doesn't feel loved. it leads to tolerance, then acceptance, and eventually a solution.

a lot of people get nicknames - i don't. i always wondered, was it because i lacked personality? people can't seem to be able to make up their minds about me. the safest comments would be 'nice', a euphemism for 'goes-with-the-flow'. and i realized, in an effort to accommodate, you can lose strength of will to lead, to decide, to purpose and to pursue your own life goals.
i know i may always seem a little slow in catching on, a little late in blooming. but i don't wanna be insecure about that anymore. what is progress without foundation?
but. no more stagnating.


Popular posts from this blog

There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait on You

Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Consuming fire fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God won't You fall in this place
Lord have your way Lord have your way in us

Stir it up in our hearts Lord
Stir it up in our hearts Lord
Stir it up in our hearts Lord a passion for your name

As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…

on mountains and perspective

Kept awake by a bout of traveler's diarrhea and the ensuing abdominal colic. Just been back from an attempt at Mount Kinabalu, 'highest mountain in Southeast Asia'. Okay, those apostrophes are there out of bitterness... it really is the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. And I couldn't even attempt the summit. Made it to the base camp at 3067 m though... that's what it says on my black-and-white certificate - colored ones are only for successful summit-ers.  Crrr!

But I made it back with my life. And I'm humbler for the attempt, though how could I resist the parting shot: "I'll be back!"?

But on a more serious note, it's an awesome thing, a beautiful gift to be able to get out there into as natural a surrounding you can get (without dying a slow tv-less death from cold, altitude sickness, projectile vomit and did I mention cold?). It truly seems like one never can be happy - despite all my first-world comforts, I'd gladly pay to painfully…

hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…