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After this Emerge, it's really a new faith that is placed in my heart that the Christian walk is possible and there's a new thing everyday of my life. No doubt about it that the devil is working hard. More and more each day, I hear people backsliding because of reasons that are acceptable by the world's standards, but when you look through the perspective of God's GOODNESS that none of us deserve yet have experienced, there's no acceptability about these reasons at all.

I very sincerely add this disclaimer that I'm not talking about people I know who've backslided, but myself and my own attitudes and mentality ever since I joined church. If anything, my heart has only just begun to begin the Christian walk which my body has these past 5 years.

Truly, everyone was tired this year. (THANK GOD FOR PASTORS WHO LAY DOWN THEIR LIFE - TIME WITH THEIR FAMILY, TIME DOING THINGS THEY ENJOY MUCH MORE, TIME PURSUING MORE 'SELF-FULFILLING' ACHIEVEMENTS etc.) Either physical or spiritual. I'm so GLAD that this year was a year that there wasn't much hype BUT there was SO MUCH MORE --> God. It was really a matter of making a decision to go seek God, knowing the price tag, even though you're tired, even though you've just quarreled with someone else over reserving seats (!!!) etc etc. NEVER in my life have I done that - actually find God when everything in me did not want to, saw no point in, was not motivated to do so!

In God, there're always BUTS when it comes to us, His children. We sinned, we're condemned as Satan is, which is why God has destroyed him, cos the unsaved are the hostages. BUT He created a loophole, Jesus, to save us.

What Chen Diya, runner-up of the Project Superstar, and who came to sing - what she said is so true. We are only young ONCE and we have only this one life to live. I don't want to come to the end of it successful by the world's standards and satisfied with my own goals, when I'm actually completely MISSING OUT on the BEST standard out there! Like what Liu Geng Hong said too, that despite the temptations he faces as a Taiwanese singer smack right in the middle of the 'worldly' crowd, what keeps him in God is the desire for God's BEST for his life. Everything else that isn't given by God to us isn't IT. Period. Keep on going, stop comparing, start seeing yourself as how God sees you. And that is that you're something HE made - every fault and mistake He tolerates, because of the greatness He placed in us and the fact that at the end of the day, WE ARE JUST NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS, TRYING OUR BEST TO LOVE GOD THE WAY HE LOVES US AND DOING ALL WE CAN TO DISPLAY GOD'S LOVE TO OTHERS, NOT GOD'S LOVE TO US CHRISTIANS.

Take responsibility = 1. acknowledging your weaknesses
2. DOING something about it



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As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…

on mountains and perspective

Kept awake by a bout of traveler's diarrhea and the ensuing abdominal colic. Just been back from an attempt at Mount Kinabalu, 'highest mountain in Southeast Asia'. Okay, those apostrophes are there out of bitterness... it really is the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. And I couldn't even attempt the summit. Made it to the base camp at 3067 m though... that's what it says on my black-and-white certificate - colored ones are only for successful summit-ers.  Crrr!

But I made it back with my life. And I'm humbler for the attempt, though how could I resist the parting shot: "I'll be back!"?

But on a more serious note, it's an awesome thing, a beautiful gift to be able to get out there into as natural a surrounding you can get (without dying a slow tv-less death from cold, altitude sickness, projectile vomit and did I mention cold?). It truly seems like one never can be happy - despite all my first-world comforts, I'd gladly pay to painfully…

hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…