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awesome timing God. really. it's times like these tt i KNOW u exist like, in-my-face.

i think i will start to think more before i speak, n mean it with conviction n all my heart.

Ok, odd i-dunno-what-u-call-that-branched-off-random-thought tt prob Jing xuan knows the word to. ^^ moving on. i suddenly recall e message abt how to know if God is really the first in my life - when i stop worrying. N i guess tt's wat everything is linked to. taking on more than i can chew. caring more than i can love. getting bummed abt things i cannot change.

i agree w wat Sean said. It's weird how we get stumbled or hurt or offended by ppl in life, even church ('gasp, no! really?'), n we go into this i-dunno-y-being-a-christian's-more-complicated-than-not-being n stuff like tt that ALL of us hv played w before, the revelation hits us that we're really blaming God. Like, we stop wanting to pray, like, bug off God, not in the mood. N want to sleep all day. Or cry the load, the whatever tt's in ur chest, Off.

but yea. when i get past e blaming, then hello fear. so here i am, jumping from emotion to emotion in 5 seconds, n i get some talking to, do some stretching but still feel tt way somewhere deep down.

AND I check my email aft a week or so, n there is Pst Phil's weekly podcast sitting in my inbox, TOTALLY imparting faith on ENCOURAGEMENT n talking abt my life.

Things like words jumping out from Max Lucado books, from lyrics of hip songs we jump to in church.. tt ain't just coincidence. It's 1) a physical pat on the back from a God who understands; 2) a reminder tt beyond our imaginings n judgements abt CG members who aren't there, who don't accept me, who can't click with me, i CAN find God's love in them. I just need to be AROUND n desperate enough to know what's good for me.

I mean, how come when i have a problem, i can go to Jean who's so totally opposite from me sometimes i wonder at God's humor, expecting some rictus snarl of horror at a demented sister like me, but get this 'I understand. I was just going through that last week. Here's what God said.' talk. it has to say something tt despite all the frustrations n complicated emotions tt go along w being placed in the same cg as 20 other completely different people, iron sharpens iron.



if this song has to apply within a church, within a cg, it just says tt the devil is alive, GOD IS ALIVE, n we need to know this n start making decisions.


SEAN said…
hey feeling the same here man.. having some strange mood swings. :S haha.dunno why =/
Anonymous said…
preach it lady!

- mic
Anonymous said…
haha.i can't think of a word except my favorite word: RANDOM!


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