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awesome timing God. really. it's times like these tt i KNOW u exist like, in-my-face.

i think i will start to think more before i speak, n mean it with conviction n all my heart.

Ok, odd i-dunno-what-u-call-that-branched-off-random-thought tt prob Jing xuan knows the word to. ^^ moving on. i suddenly recall e message abt how to know if God is really the first in my life - when i stop worrying. N i guess tt's wat everything is linked to. taking on more than i can chew. caring more than i can love. getting bummed abt things i cannot change.

i agree w wat Sean said. It's weird how we get stumbled or hurt or offended by ppl in life, even church ('gasp, no! really?'), n we go into this i-dunno-y-being-a-christian's-more-complicated-than-not-being n stuff like tt that ALL of us hv played w before, the revelation hits us that we're really blaming God. Like, we stop wanting to pray, like, bug off God, not in the mood. N want to sleep all day. Or cry the load, the whatever tt's in ur chest, Off.

but yea. when i get past e blaming, then hello fear. so here i am, jumping from emotion to emotion in 5 seconds, n i get some talking to, do some stretching but still feel tt way somewhere deep down.

AND I check my email aft a week or so, n there is Pst Phil's weekly podcast sitting in my inbox, TOTALLY imparting faith on ENCOURAGEMENT n talking abt my life.

Things like words jumping out from Max Lucado books, from lyrics of hip songs we jump to in church.. tt ain't just coincidence. It's 1) a physical pat on the back from a God who understands; 2) a reminder tt beyond our imaginings n judgements abt CG members who aren't there, who don't accept me, who can't click with me, i CAN find God's love in them. I just need to be AROUND n desperate enough to know what's good for me.

I mean, how come when i have a problem, i can go to Jean who's so totally opposite from me sometimes i wonder at God's humor, expecting some rictus snarl of horror at a demented sister like me, but get this 'I understand. I was just going through that last week. Here's what God said.' talk. it has to say something tt despite all the frustrations n complicated emotions tt go along w being placed in the same cg as 20 other completely different people, iron sharpens iron.

GOD IS SMILING OVER US TONIGHT
GOD IS SMILING OVER US TONIGHT
AND WHAT UNITES US IS MUCH STRONGER
THAN WHAT DIVIDES US
GOD IS SMILING OVER US TONIGHT

-Delirious?

if this song has to apply within a church, within a cg, it just says tt the devil is alive, GOD IS ALIVE, n we need to know this n start making decisions.

Comments

SEAN said…
hey feeling the same here man.. having some strange mood swings. :S haha.dunno why =/
Anonymous said…
preach it lady!

- mic
Anonymous said…
haha.i can't think of a word except my favorite word: RANDOM!

jx

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As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…

frustrated

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beauty and the beast

Best movie ever!

I admit, I was totally sceptical at what I thought was another attempt to spoil a good thing. But musicals... haven't regretted watching a single one, from Chicago, Burlesque, Les Miserables (though I only found out it was fully a musical midway)! We live and we learn :)

Ok, here's how good it was. I went back to watch it a second time. Hee.

It's definitely one of those movies to watch alone - so you can cry at all the odd moments. I gather from the odd chuckles and silences from my fellow movie-watchers, that we were all touched by the movie in one way or the other. None of us wanted to live till we saw the end of the credits. You have to leave immediately when the lights come on though, so you can go remove any traces of the tear tracks.

Loved Belle for being both feisty and just lovely. Emma Watson, you danced beautifully; I was half-in-love with you myself! And of course Beast and the eye-rolling, bumbling-ness of him.

The best of it all was the famili…