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Realized that my time management is totally out of whack these holidays. It's as if my 'wants' haven't yet caught up with my duties,, so i always end up agreeing to go for things, but end up have to cancel.

Today for example. Felt really bad that couldn't go for store outing - though i really had no mood and i'd to rush here rush there. Prepared the dress and everything, but my mind would not let go of my family obligations. In the end, I spent some much needed time (though short) with cg members (Thanks La for the dresses! I felt v little-sister-loved =)) & home to help out at home, and just be there to support my parents. Hope that these days of clashing will end! Must pray for wisdom and start getting more organized!

Pls help pray for my grandpa. =) He's v old, and age and illness are just catching up with him. My aunt (and cousin!=)) is flying back from Canada - hmm.. i just want him to be able to live life free from his bitterness. that thank God he's saved, but i know there's more to life than what he's going through.

Pst Mike really been speaking into the sources of our problems. Makes me wanna live life more passionately, but more watchful also to not be a source of someone else's demons. WOW! Really wanna work towards the example he set - it's ok to love and show it like that, just to pray for someone cos he knows God is really using him to bring God's love to people!

Jiayou everyone! YOU CAN. That's something i learnt. Your life is yours - go to church, listen for yourself and allow faith to arise in you. God is talking to you! Holy Spirit will teach you how to live - you don't have to wait for people to pray and keep counseling and helping you all the time. When there's not enough ppl to go around, know that Holy Spirit is ALWAYS the first resort!


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As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…

on mountains and perspective

Kept awake by a bout of traveler's diarrhea and the ensuing abdominal colic. Just been back from an attempt at Mount Kinabalu, 'highest mountain in Southeast Asia'. Okay, those apostrophes are there out of bitterness... it really is the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. And I couldn't even attempt the summit. Made it to the base camp at 3067 m though... that's what it says on my black-and-white certificate - colored ones are only for successful summit-ers.  Crrr!

But I made it back with my life. And I'm humbler for the attempt, though how could I resist the parting shot: "I'll be back!"?

But on a more serious note, it's an awesome thing, a beautiful gift to be able to get out there into as natural a surrounding you can get (without dying a slow tv-less death from cold, altitude sickness, projectile vomit and did I mention cold?). It truly seems like one never can be happy - despite all my first-world comforts, I'd gladly pay to painfully…

hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…