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God: for lifting me up, sending words right in the season for me on my birthday. It's totally not a bout me, but about You and all the people you've placed in my life to help steer me in the right way. Hearing the exact words from Pastor that is the answer to my heart's questions, I just know that You're real and that I gotta take You more seriously. Here's to God for 20 years of unconditional love!

Jean: for not squishing me in the womb 20 years ago!
Ai & Jang: for sacrificially getting me a Zen Stone PLUS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still say 'OMG' when i pick it up!) & arranging THE PLOY and getting us to cg, helping me feel special even though the whole day was kinda packed n u guys were TIRED
JX: for praying a very discerning prayer over me
Mic: for her v loving birthday hug
Joseph: for being excited about my birthday & helping get a cake!
Cel & Nianying: for going to the trouble of buying presents that we'd like!!! Haha..
Sophie: for treating us Fish & Co.!!!!
LK, HY, Jasper, Dixon, Dom, YH: for the necklace & well-wishes & all the encouragement and help through the last yr ;D
All the friends who've wished me happy birthday via SMS! ;D lol... feel loved ya...

but think i can't wait for Ai's birthday! ;D lol... 20 somehow reminds me of the resolutions i made for this yr & how i gotta step it up & start being the kind of person I've always wanted to be (Nope Estella, NOT the 'surfer dude' LOL). Lol... already, my neighbour's impressionable little gal has called me 'kor kor' despite her maid's whispered explanation that I'm a GIRL! Plus my colleagues asking if I'm straight JUST BECAUSE of my hair LAH! T.T I cannot go anymore low gradient than this SERIOUSLY. When i was walking home, I was so affected that I walked into the shop by the MRT to look thru the skirts la! Boohoooooooooo.... I'm not sexually confused! ><

lol... can't wait, this wk's holiday wk.... gonna work hard, play hard, shop hard... yeah! ;D


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on mountains and perspective

Kept awake by a bout of traveler's diarrhea and the ensuing abdominal colic. Just been back from an attempt at Mount Kinabalu, 'highest mountain in Southeast Asia'. Okay, those apostrophes are there out of bitterness... it really is the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. And I couldn't even attempt the summit. Made it to the base camp at 3067 m though... that's what it says on my black-and-white certificate - colored ones are only for successful summit-ers.  Crrr!

But I made it back with my life. And I'm humbler for the attempt, though how could I resist the parting shot: "I'll be back!"?

But on a more serious note, it's an awesome thing, a beautiful gift to be able to get out there into as natural a surrounding you can get (without dying a slow tv-less death from cold, altitude sickness, projectile vomit and did I mention cold?). It truly seems like one never can be happy - despite all my first-world comforts, I'd gladly pay to painfully…

hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…