No Reserves, No Retreats, No Regrets

browse and stock up bookshelf! draw draw draw (10,000 hours!) guitar & driving lessons shopping (christmas!) readddddddddd only 8 hours sleep max... so much joy, so little time =]

wow i think teachers make a big difference. just thinking about this prof i have who teaches about air quality control, and my whole attitude about studying for his module is totally different! now to translate that to other modules...

It ain't hard to feel this way: But God:

My geog prof showed us a disturbing video today (this is the first module that has me cringing everytime the prof says "we're gonna watch a video today"). I think most of us have seen it or some versions of it - "Earthling/s", an inside look on how we treat animals in our modern society. I appreciate that he allowed those who felt uncomfortable, to leave the LT, and allowed us to make our own minds up about what we saw. True, it's never about indoctrination or forcing you to take up a view. It's making available the knowledge and information and allowing people the chance to make their own decision. I stayed even though I had some inkling of what was gonna be shown & I always avoided viewing this kinda scenes of animal abuse etc. shown on youtube/facebook. I mean, who seeks out a guilt trip right? But something the narrator said, "If we all could see behind the scenes, we would all be vegetarians." and there was a trust there, in the moral ...

late'bloom'er: someone whose talents or capabilities are slow to develop. There's a great difference between mouthing something and getting it into your system. This week was crazy - in a good way! It's like my life is getting into motion, just by making a decision. Your outlook changes, you find yourself making more and more decisions that you've put aside for years, and you start hurtling towards that life you find God has been preparing you for. Went for an interview, hoping to be succesful in applying for an NUS entreprise programme - iLEAD, that basically attaches you for 7.5 months to a startup company + a study trip for 2 weeks to Silicon Valley, U.S.A.! Don't ask me how I even got started being interested in business - I think it was a culmination of a lot of things - Starbucks, the Cultural Mandate that Pastor has been sharing with us these few years, and being increasingly exposed to so many real-life crises going on because of mismanagement/corrupti...

i've always toed the line. wear the hats life gives you. censor what you say because not everyone understands. keep it in because not everyone wants to hear it. change because you should be relevant. give because your friend needs a shoulder to cry on. do it because others are busy. but when my finances run out when my strength fails when my heart is sore when i wish to have time aside when i just need someone to take me seriously it's hard to wait and wait for You to come to my defense then i remember how so many times i tested you out of desperation to ask for that one sign that you hear you show up you gave me rest from my tears you held me up from the inside instead of pity you gave me empathy you let me know that it matters to you how i feel even when i complain and am filled with bitterness you never tell me to suck it in or tell me what's expected of me you let me know there's space in you for me a person like me so i can find rest and a refuge a covering for my ...

Soundtrack of 'The Guardian', by Bryan Adams (ohmanohman been searching for this!) Can you lay your life down, so a stranger could live Can you take what you need, but take less than you give Could you close everyday, without the glory and fame Could you hold your head high, when no one knows your name That's how legends are made At least, that's what they say We say goodbye, but never let go We live, We die Cos you can't save every soul Gotta take every chance to Show that you're the kinda man who Never look back, Never look down and Never let go Can you lose everything you ever had planned Can you sit down again, and play another hand Could you risk everything, for the chance of being alone Under pressure find the grace or would you come undone That's how legends are made At least, that's what they say

this school year's really different - have been meeting old schoolmates, co-workers in some temp job that seems like eons ago etc. in part, it's the new school year for the guys in the same batch (no longer!), but guess the only common thing all students have no matter the faculty, is that rush for textbooks. either way, if we play the Meet-a-friend game, I can give you competition YP! ;D > What's in store this term: Modules I'm finally interested in! Passionate Profs. (yay) Field trips in store! Projects (hmm.) Driving lessons Too-e-shen So this morning, I jumped out of bed and decided that Mondays are gonna be my Sabbath day! =) No more Monday blues for me. Jiayou guys for school!

i remember a message from Phil Pringle once, about asking and living by a new name given by God. people's judgments and impressions and emotions - think this is really the season to start learning to live beyond that. 'Joanne' means - God is Gracious. yeah, i'm not all that, neither do i have the means to attain a lot, neither do i have a lot of life experiences. but by God's grace, and at the right time, i know i'll become who i'm made to be.

Fave song in Darlene Zschech's solo album "Change Your World" =) Never give up, never give in Never look back C'mon now my friend You're not alone The hope of tomorrow is calling There's a brighter day On the other side But it's u p t o y o u to put back on your stride So get up, step out, live it Honey, don't you give up It's time for you to start to breathe again For the sun and the moon have never stopped Shining on you my friend I know you feel the world has passed you by But the greatness in you is starting to rise Faded dreams need to be recoloured I know you've had it bad But it's time to dream again Write it down my friend Make it plain oh yeah That desire you hold It will see the light of day What's it gonna take for you to see That's it's only the grace of God that will set you free What's it gonna take for you to Open up your eyes Look beyond the skies Never, never , no never give up!

Ecclesiastes 7:16 - 18 Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself? Do not be overly wicked, Nor be foolish: Why should you die before your time? It is good that you grasp this, And also not remove your hand from the other; For he who fears God will escape them all. What Pastor Tan said today's really true, being mature and freer and freer in God comes hand in hand. There's a fine line between my own fleshly nature speaking, and common sense. between fervor for God and actually obeying Him in the way He desires. between doing what's right and being what's right. between denying your emotions and directing it through the right channels. between holy sorrow and a pity party. between a wish for privacy and a double life. between wisdom and being judgmental. between arrogance and healthy confidence. between a desire to serve and other motives. between what you say and what you think. between a healthy social life and compromising to peer ...

I feel the need to justify my not getting a job these hols. i) With year 3 looming, i realize that this hols is one of the last handful of holidays that I can fully enjoy, bumming around, working on mini-projects & things I like & which i will have to devote less time to when I get a job after graduation (FAITH!), enjoying student meals and cheap ways to be entertained. ii) The only long-term source of income in sight for most students (alas I'm still working on talents that might help make me richer like this freelance designer i know...) is a tuition job. However, seeing as the oncoming sem will promise 6 modules instead of 5 and a steeper learning curve (i wonder why we resort to formal language and jargons to strengthen our argument), I don't wanna bring both my kid and me down due to poor time management, or just plain overloading on the system. iii) Plus I really wanna pull my GPA upupup! =) BUT that just means I gotta spend lesser and get over the wanting to shop...

Bought a Michael Kors watch with my birthday FOSSIL vouchers! =) Thanks Jas, Char, Sheryl, Amar and Liyue!!! =) And Jean-zei too for you GENEROUS birthday blessing =) Still aching badly from completing the Sundown Marathon - who knew that just the act of walking could hurt so bad? I really admire people who run marathons - whether they're trained for it or not. To be able to RUN through a marathon takes physical discipline, to LIMP through the marathon takes mental discipline! Think it's much needed sometimes to try things out and see where you stand - it was certainly beneficial to know how insignificant I was amongst the throngs of runners! I highly doubt I'd do it again - but after this, truly, nothing is impossible. I'm glad at least I knew what being at my limits feels like.

YAY got my results for the sem... 3 B+s, 1 A and 1 A-! =) Seriously pleased! And received an email from a prof about a part-time job that allows me to work from home.. hope I can get a slot! =) BTT test booked, and 5 driving lessons. Now it's only the 42 km marathon to face down =)

I found out why I don't like to read much during the hols! It's not because of some rebel complex, where I just have to do the opposite of what I'm supposed to do. It's the same as how we begin planning extensively for our holidays right after the first paper's done, mentally checking through our bank accounts (or conveniently skipping this step) and stopping to skim through the reports of Jeju Island, Cheap Holidays to Fit the Times etc. Reading for me stores up life lessons, gives ideas and inspires new activities to try out. The holidays is the green light for these words to become action..! Actually, forking out money's a pretty good way to make sure all that talk and planning gets translated to something more. Paying for the Sundown Marathon for example. I think 50% of the effort begins now, spending minutes of the day (usually when a stray jogger pops into view as i'm staring out the bus) or night (cos some convenient excuse popped up again why I shoul...

I like getting up each morning with something in mind to do, and somewhere to go. Bearing that in mind, the fun of the hols though is to have unplanned days. Was whining to Jean as she rushed her research proposal, that I was bored stiff. On the THIRD day of my holidays! I'd seriously expected my post-exams delirium to last me 2 weeks at least. Seriously. Haha... I know it looks like i'm doing the evil twin routine. But roughly, hope to learn much more stuff these hols. Driving for one! On top of finding adhoc jobs and meeting up with friends =) Lol Am, this post is for u cos obviously I've not much to talk about! ;DDD

Module: ESE2401 Water Science and Technology Q: Name 3 main pathogens that impacts water quality. Correct Answer: Cryptosporidium, Giardia Duodenalis, E. Coli MY answer: Cystosporidiosis, Giardi Dynogenalis, E. Coli ... I hope I get some marks for entertaining my examiner! XDDD

by MelloLover on Deviantart.com --> 'just a doodle' doesn't begin to describe this (!!!) I really can't wait for the holidays to begin Sketchpad's ever before me Itchy itchy Gotta stah-dee

Yay! =) My tuition kid's out of her doldrums - it was amazing seeing the change in her. I remember when I had to spend a couple of sessions counselling and assuring her and her mother, that things would work out for the better... I definitely went out from there wondering if I could handle the extraneous responsibilities this tuition job seemed to require of me! I don't know what changed her mind - but I know that every good tuition session happened because I'd pray before I knocked on the door - be it outside at the lift lobby (Hoping no one suddenly popped out!) or in the MRT. It's not that I LOVE teaching. But I think anyone with a love for something, like Dixon and his designs, Cel with her acting, Mic with her basketball, Tim with his love for marine life... you won't need to know how to teach, to want to impart some of your passion to someone. And I definitely feel strongly that no one should 'fail' in life, just because they may not be scoring well or...

I think it's a gift when you want time to slow down and it really does. I wish it would slow down now - that I could zone out and be happy not doing anything but really, only 5 minutes have gone by. Anyway, I definitely can't wait for holidays to begin. Haha.. they're the reason why I always look forward to exams - just get it over with already! But this sem's really been one of the better ones.. good profs, relevant classes & more time hanging out with my classmates & more time to be a student. Lol.. By Bofkin Press on!

D . i . s . c . i . p . l . i . n . e . The world lies at the feer of the disciplined. . Everyone dreams. But only the disciplined will accomplish theirs. . A dream without discipline is the pathway to frustration, anger and deep disappointment. . Even a dream from God has no guarantee it will come to pass. . Success of the dream demands discipline. . Start disciplined, stay disciplined, finish disciplined! . Disciplines are the way of life. . Morals, finances, attitudes, emotions, relationships, work, devotions; all require discipline to be healthy and successful! . - Phil Pringle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY If we can come through this age learning what's important in the end, then it's all worth it.

He never thought he cared so much about the minute hand Until he started praying for a second chance If he could only do it all again He'd trade the long nights that he spent behind his desk For all he missed He tells his wife, "I wish that this moment in this room, Was not me dying but just spending a little time with you." You only get just one time around You only get one shot at this One chance , to find out The one thing that you don't wanna miss One day when it's all said and sone I hope you see that it was enough, this One ride, one try , one life to love She never thought she cared so much about those little hands That held on tight the day she left Till she was scared to death Sitting all alone on a hotel bed The end of the road The sun has set on her big plans To feel young again She picks up the phone, dials the number Hears that little voice that's haunted every single mile since she made that choice

Just got a taste of how it must feel to be retrenched...or dumped by SMS. LOL. See, I got a new tuition job supplementing a kid's other math tuition around 2 weeks ago. That's the duration I've to teach without pay. I guess I wasn't being strict enough, or I took too long to warm up. But after rushing home from school today to grab a 10 minute dinner before heading out for tuition, having psyched myself up for it even though I was ready to just sit on the MRT floor to sleep, got a late SMS from the agency saying the tuition kid's father had decided to terminate my contract. Yeah, so just like that, no direct word from him or any communication, my 10 minute dinner wasn't 10 minutes no more. In the end, it wasn't about the money really, but the way this sort of confirms stereotypes about Singaporean parents. But one thing in the midst of my disappointment with how this turned out (I should be glad for the time freed up), I thank God that at least, looking bac...

Mark 2: 21-22 (NLT) "Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the wine would burst the wineskins, and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins." What's the difference between those who receive miracles from Jesus (Mark 2:12) and Mary Magdalene, who was delivered from demons? More demons? What's the difference between Levi, the sinful tax collector and one of Jesus' 12 disciples, and those who make up the background, perpetually at every healing scene, proclaiming and praising God (Mark 2:12)?

=) I was just remarking to Siok Teng, that I love this Semester the best of all! It's the first where I really feel integrated as an undergraduate, the first where I feel that the modules are challenging AND relevant (essential essential), and the first where I'd actually shoot of bed to get to the only 1 hr lecture for the day! I'm officially broken in. My advice? Don't fight it - plunge in with all you've got. You'll find it isn't as bad as you think. Especially when you know Who's behind you. Cheering. =)

It is best in times of stress, to stop and contemplate the source of it. If my own expectations are behind it, then I've got to adjust it. If it comes from people, then I gotta find that balance - to resist it or find another way to respond. If it comes from the workload, meaning that there truly is more work than can be humanly done, then I gotta stand back and wonder if I would be happier if I didn't have this work to do. There must always be time made to stop and check. Every point of frustration is an opportunity to get a breakthrough in my mindset. An opportunity missed means a round trip back to the same point. Today, my breakthrough is in that I should never complain about having to use more of my brain. If I play hard, then it is only justified that I work as hard. So... plowing on.

Oh man, I didn't know what I've been missing on OKTO channel! > Awesome film: The Lives of Others A German film in the Socialist age before the fall of the Berlin wall, depicting the ironies of the Socialist regime. It shows how the State observes and spies on its members suspected of anti-State activities... The most amazing scene to me was how, in this sterile building with grey walls and straight lines, there could be a room with files and files and organized folders based on every suspect's movements. The film stars a writer who has come under suspicion, not for any idle word or joke against the State, but because his lover, a beautiful artist named Christa-Marie, caught the eye of a official, Hempf. A middle-rank officer, Wiesler, is sent to take charge of the full surveillance of the writer Georg Dreyman. Wiesler is meticulous; the bugs are everywhere, even in the bathroom. And he in turn occupies the attic above Dreyman's apartment, for half a day, listening a...

The weeks ahead's going to be really busy... one thing i learnt though, not to let tomorrow's work get to you today. you do what you gotta do, and that's that, no point losing sleep over it. still, having real awkward schedules =) like going running at 11pm. still have to train. Life's full of deadlines... but when you choose not to live your life as dictated by the world - telling you how much you have to do before you're good enough - and see life off the beaten track as the great Adventure, as what you're made for, then it's going to be alright. it's even going to be FUN. =)

thanks Dad for financial blessings various hongbaos & birthday blessings from a cousin that I didn't know cared so much to offer to loan us through the remaining years in university for $90 worth of FOSSIL gift cards and more importantly the heart behind a handmade gift that really made me feel valued and LOVED =) for the wiring between a smile and the heart for joy being a decision and not a reward to be earned by being pretty or talented or intelligent enough to deserve it for good memories and forgetfulness of bad ones for time and rightness to do certain things at certain times despite the schedule of the world and still have the promise of a good future as a gift and a challenge and your plan for me for a surprise gift that comes with age even one day more matters - wisdom! a good friend for tears that heal for pain that grows love for love that looks in for giving me courage to change

BER - my encouragement, inspiration, fellow wonderer and the best hugger around! I hate it everytime you leave... BUT Have a safe trip and term ahead!

hmm... it's kinda ironic but i find myself really hanging for hours trying to post something. I guess some things you can only unload on a friend (or sister :D) and not on the web. Blog construction not really finished... but I like the skin! (credits to bolong @ http://www.blogskins.com/ ) Here's an early (probably permanent) wishlist for my 21st (seriously though I prefer a surprise, like a gift from YOU =) So yeah, this can just serve as an indicator to things I like. No stress & thanks so much for even wanting to get me something.): Vouchers: Borders, Attributes, Canon (for an ixus cam), IKEA?, topshop? Zara? Cash (Saving up!:D) Lunch/dinner date (just give a ring or drop an sms!) Hoodie/jacket (check out prev. posts for e kuan4) Sneakers/Dance shoes/Berks Birthday hug! Leather satchel (light brown =)) Laptop cover (A4) (quirky's good) Yeeaahh that's about it I guess. =) Hey I don't wanna hear of anyone losing a meal over this - even if you've to get the...

http://inobras.deviantart.com/art/House-Brigantine-111107789 When you've absolutely nothing to do or you forgot what you were supposed to do while online, deviantart.com's a nice place to surf. How ah... all the 21st birthdays coming up.. that's what's keeping me up RIGHT NOW. presents. timing. packaging. oh man cards! touching touching must see tears =) plus inexplicable, unprompted, automatic planning for future holidays SOMEDAY hang-gliding (too much discovery living) bungee jumping (too much sec 2 science) caravanning in NZ! (I think Am brought this on.. lol) & at last, something do-able like next week a day at the zoo. I'm so gonna have weird dreams tonight.

T . H . A . N . K . S ! Jean for being my sounding board, encourager, blesser, companion, friend, God's messenger to me throughout 2008. Even without speaking to you, I learn so much just by watching you live out your life mantra: love. Think God really placed you in my life to teach me how to view people in His way - this is not an exaggeration when I say that I see and find Jesus in you! May I be able to put to practice all you've advised me about in the year ahead! Love you & thank God for letting me have the privilege to be your twin =) Mic for accepting me for who I am and driving us home when you can! I think what I learnt most from you is to pursue the things that needs done, for you to get a breakthrough. And I thank you for taking the time to draw us aside and unload what is important, and you feel is important for us to know. I treasure your advice and your straight-shooting ways a lot! I feel the love in your friendship because not only are you there through th...