an opened letter from POSB on my table. my mother saw my giving.
God help me believe and stand.
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As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…
Kept awake by a bout of traveler's diarrhea and the ensuing abdominal colic. Just been back from an attempt at Mount Kinabalu, 'highest mountain in Southeast Asia'. Okay, those apostrophes are there out of bitterness... it really is the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. And I couldn't even attempt the summit. Made it to the base camp at 3067 m though... that's what it says on my black-and-white certificate - colored ones are only for successful summit-ers. Crrr!
But I made it back with my life. And I'm humbler for the attempt, though how could I resist the parting shot: "I'll be back!"?
But on a more serious note, it's an awesome thing, a beautiful gift to be able to get out there into as natural a surrounding you can get (without dying a slow tv-less death from cold, altitude sickness, projectile vomit and did I mention cold?). It truly seems like one never can be happy - despite all my first-world comforts, I'd gladly pay to painfully…
hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!
The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).
Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.