No Reserves, No Retreats, No Regrets

Thanks for the comments!!! ;D I feel loved! Awwww~ Haha.. no seriously.. Jean was complaining that I should get a chatbox for my blog but I disproved that the comments page isn't that troublesome! Right? right? Lol... other than the fact that I dunno how.... Anyway, YAY, #2 it is! ;) I'll make an appointment asap! ;D Actually, having a blog kinda makes me enthusiastic about my module this sem, CS1101C - computer programming; the C language. O.O lol... I was thinking, I'd finally know how to change my blog skin. Haha~ Anyway, work was good & bad today. Just 4 days past my barista test, 18/1, I had a mystery shopper (a delegate from the headquarters) come & assess our team's performance! X( Due to various circumstances, which is certainly enough to excuse some of our lapses in performance, we failed to meet expectations - scoring the lowest score in the history of Starbucks Airport. When my manager talked to me & my manager of shift that day, I was caught in b...

Need to cut my hair before CNY! ;) been getting really unruly these days - can recall my last hairstylist's scandalized look when I told him i haven't gone to a salon for 3 months! XD Lol.. Polling the audience! XD (give me a hand here!) #1 Lol... dun have her neck. OR the length of hair come to think of it. #2 Sweet~! I love the layered back! Haha.. #3 Top of the list i think... ;D though to achieve the LOOK would mean plastic surgery. #4 Hmm.. difficult to reproduce it like everyday - PLUS have to think of my rate of hair growth (T.T) #5 LOL... I would love this haircut but it's a bit spur-of-the-moment thingy! XD Cheers!

=) This week's service was GREAT! Lol... I was so tired from - ironically enough - SLEEPover, & waking up early (early is an understatement; we have to create a word to describe 'obscenely early') to accompany Aileen for her hospi-ministry! When Pastor started his introduction, knowing it was one of the 4 F's to start the year, I was so prepared to write down 'fortitude' - you know, wow, something new! When Pastor said, 'Faith', I was like, 'oh oh,' cos I knew I might fall asleep! X''@ BUT really.. timely Word! ;) Especially when school is starting out, work is getting into motion, projects, assignments, looming (already!) mid-terms... I really need faith = CONFIDENCE, an assurance in God that He'll be with me, NOW! ;D It was really a revelation to me that God wants us to be confident IN Him, and that this confidence is what can help us succeed our there in the marketplace! When I was struggling with my insecurities just last yea...

I shall post in points... my thoughts are flying all over the place. I've noticed that about myself sometimes - how I'd be looking everywhere & noting funny things while people are talking to me. Maybe that's why I feel that people feel that I don't really care. > physically, my finger is blue-blacked from washing too many dishes - FAST; bumps & scrapes from doing stupid things like banging straight into the oven door, or cycling in jeans and getting my legs tangled in the gears. HAHA. Sorry.. I just find it amusing. ;) listening to Praise 106.5 online ( www.praise1065.com ) is a really great way of getting to know new Christian songs! suddenly i want to write songs, learn to dance (as in taking action to... T.T), get organized, repaint my room, save up for clothes & an IKEA sofa for my bare room (i know i know) & go to Sentosa to play (try to) beach volleyball. a quote from 'Goodnight Mister Tom' - "How could anyone not want to live, tho...

how i wish that when you're in the midst of an adventure, you feel the excitement of the onlooker. so many times when i'm on the verge of a breakthrough, i can't comprehend why my leader or friends would be excited for me. the emotions are just not that. yet i'm so touched that God constantly talks about the prosperity of my SOUL - where my emotions are, and not just my spirit. and how He is the helper of my countenance. all this just shows me that God isn't up there saying, 'be tough, you need to get through this. just have faith in me.' but that He hurts that i had to experience heartbreaks, and that He wants to heal me and make something good out of it. perhaps it is with this understanding of where God is and what He's doing, WHILE he's going through his valley, that made Paul (or James I forgot... ;X) write about how he took joy in his sufferings. i dunno why my life seems to be a series of breakthroughs and dips. i've asked God about it, bu...

it is true what pastor says about u attracting what you fear. like how i always fear emo people or dunno how to treat them, or become overly critical abt those that wear their hearts on their sleeves. i realize that i am seasonal. it's taken me years to conclude that it is people like Jean, who i've always 'adviced' to 'not be so emotional' and to 'ask God to sanctify your emotions', who are the ones that are truly strong. it takes strength to pursue what you know you need. regardless of whether other people are as enthusiastic as you about something. it's true in simple things like praise and worship. can u imagine, i had to learn how to jump and praise God. i took at least a year before i did. Sheila's eyes almost fell out of her head. now when i see people like Sophie and Jingxuan, leading praise and worshipping God, meaning what they say even when everyone else is self-conscious and not getting into it, i'm inspired to do what u mean, and...

tomorrow: school barista test work piano i wonder about the 'BIG rocks' Pst Tan was talking abt.

1. Jonny got 4 job offers! Hmmph! Who says my bro can't do it? 2. $200 blessing for CNY shopping!!! 3. Barista test coming up on Mon so I can finally get my full-pay soon!!! 4. A day off today to: i) sew & look out my window (nope, no rocking chair) ii) SHOP FOR STATIONERY!!! Thank goodness i wrote a shopping list else I might still be adding stuff to my basket! iii) Serve in ministry! iv) spend time dozing & laughing with my sis v) eat dinner at home (omgoodness home-cooked food~~~) vi) blog vii) facebook-ing viii) settle my NUS timetable etc. viiii) do quiet time cheerfully X) watch Monster's Inc Disc 2 Yay! God multiplied my time! :D Indeed, though i...

(3:0.) hmm.. feels like the season of BGRs, whether fulfilled, in the making or preconceived. Lol... my eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw the cover of Harvest Times. I was like, 'Whoa, Pst! Very sharp!' But then, that's after his dramatic telling of the 'Please stop match-making me... the person I want... is you!' thing... I wonder if he's behind it! Heh.. I've always been one of the youngsters chuckling behind my hand when Pst made those jokes about those singles who were 'feeling the urge to merge'. Now, with my 20th birthday just, (egads) around the corner, I'm suddenly looking around and seeing that I am now in that category of singles! (joanne clutches at cheeks & looks for a way out) Lol.. I can frankly say that I'm feeling the pressure. Not just because people I know are beginning to pair up, or coming to me to confide about their ex-es, but because of the whole stereotype of us being now of marriageable age, and therefor...

I foresee that my white cupboard will be covered with schedules, time-tables, inspirational sayings and sermons, & stuff like 'what are you looking here for, focus on ur revision!!!'. Lol... thank God for magic tape ;D love 3M. 3;( kinda bad sign though that I'm always eating away into my sleeping time... i always get too much into multi-tasking that i lose my FOCUS. Hum... must dig out Pst's notes & review them tmr. =) Today's in-store training was good. It's the first real hands-on experience since I've finished 99% of my theoretical stuff (the Starbucks bible they hand out to trainees is around 2 inches thick believe u me). Haha... I really realize I still am pretty uptight about new stuff - I get that from my parents I believe. But it says something abt Starbucks when your partner would say: So far, everything you're doing is correct. You just gotta relax, HAVE FUN! Lol.. though the pay isn't ideal in the sense that other jobs like tutori...

My Shopping List (sponsors welcome, well-wishers appreciated ;D) 1. Hair cut (hard to maintain~~~ grrrr *pouf*) 2. Chinese New Year clothes (Thanks to generous parents!) 3. Watch (forewarning: previous watches spoilt due to lack of use/constant assault on their beings) 4. Stationary (so I won't be running out of ink in the middle of sermons...) 5. Facial products (for chemical warfare) 6. Sandals 7. Laptop case! Yea.. I think that's all the material needs... Checking checking, yup that's it. =) Yay, I'm glad I got a job. It's really a blessing to be able to take care of ur own needs without having to keep approaching my 'rents for cash.

This week's the 1st week of 2008 - naturally, it was all about goal-setting. But frankly, time and again, whenever Pst talks about being focused on your calling from God, there'd literally be a big question mark floating around the vicinity of my head. Not because I don't get what he's saying, or even WANT to get it, but that I seriously dunno what's my calling. Am I already somehow in it, without begin consciously aware of making that decision? *scratch head... aiya.. why i dunno... X@ Hmmm.. but despite that, I'm very encouraged by remarks like: - 'But I somehow feel the peace about u studying what u're studying now' - Jean, the prophetess, in a period when I was anxious about the possibility of my being in the wrong place completely. - 'Oh, environmental! U very far-sighted!' - i-forgot-who-but-still-very-grateful-for-that-remark Lol.. not that i'm trying to be justified by people, but that i trust that God is using them to assure me. ...

=) like i said, didn't have much time to really sit down and set some resolutions and goals. but somehow it just dropped into my mind. really quite convicted by the constant repeated advice in Proverbs, to be wise & prudent in speech. i would really want to be able to be innocent & pure-hearted (in JingXuan's definition ;D), & my speech would definitely reflect that. So yea, that's my resolution - to allow God to work in me. somehow starting work and being constantly placed in new situations and places, has helped me rely on God. sometimes it's a struggle not to just slump down n just BE tired, u know? but then, 'God is the helper of my countenance', and i find that i can suck it in & consider the feelings of others. phew. =) hum... didn't go pulau ubin w the rest. Waa.. it's like the beginning of many trips missed i feel.. NVM! lol... it will work out. Quite excited abt 2008. School starting, timetable worked out ok with my work schedule...

2007 1. My results - that I did reasonable well for ALL my modules (no da bao-ing hurrah hurrah) despite not always making the best effort 2. My family - for watching over us & drawing us, each in Your own way, closer to You 3. The new house - LOVE Pasir Ris. Feel like I've come home 4. The Redang trip in June - seems like such a loooonng time ago but it was really what I needed 5. A means to prosper financially - my job! 6. Protection - looking back, there were so many late nights & stupid stuff that I did which I should not have made through unscathed, if it were not for Your watching out for me. 7. W345 - though I had my qualms, fits of highs & depressions, but it took the shaking down of the year to help me see how in 9 months, I've smoothened away rough edges. 2008 1. Hope - in place of regret 2. Faith - in place of fears; U surround me with people & poured Your favor down, that I might be edified & keep discovering who I am 3. Love - a belief in love t...

Sorry guys - I'm not gonna be very available to hang out & chill for a while! Good news though, it's only because of this brief period of adapting to work & school. Counting the cost: - family time - solitude - physical tiredness - lower committment to ministry & CCA - fellowship I can't confidently say 'don't worry guys, i'm willing to pay the price, i'll be there' because even before work has begun, i've been rescheduling, not showing up for and cancelling stuff. Though it's through no fault of my own, but the minimum 20 hrs of working a wk is gonna take a toll on certain things I know. I'm only praying that in the short, (quality XD) time that I have to spend w ppl important to me, I'll be able to carry a good attitude. But if not, I know u guys will support me & watch over me in prayer - yea? Haha.. Yea.. in 14 hrs, I've learnt how to - clean, bus the area, sanitize dishes, restock cutlery etc. - customer service, ...

2008 is 2 days old but i haven't had the time to sit down & do some introspection. No resolutions, no goals - not yet. XD ok, maybe a short-term one right now would be to ' stop coughing like an old woman ' so I can huff & puff more constructively at the park or something. Whining aside, today's been my 2nd day training at the airport store. =) Think Bruce Almighty's 'Good, good'. Really wanna thank God for favor in the sense that He's totally brought so many new people in my life, tt have a purpose, a direction, maturity beyond their years, & a really cool personality. It reminds me a little of cell group, when i think of the training we go through. Of course, instead of having the effect of replacing the role of my churchmates in my life (which is quite impossible despite e problems we still have), I've really seen how much my years in this church has molded me. Sometimes i get pressured by the thinking that 'i'm unique, celebra...