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Breakthroughs and valleys

how i wish that when you're in the midst of an adventure, you feel the excitement of the onlooker. so many times when i'm on the verge of a breakthrough, i can't comprehend why my leader or friends would be excited for me. the emotions are just not that.

yet i'm so touched that God constantly talks about the prosperity of my SOUL - where my emotions are, and not just my spirit. and how He is the helper of my countenance. all this just shows me that God isn't up there saying, 'be tough, you need to get through this. just have faith in me.' but that He hurts that i had to experience heartbreaks, and that He wants to heal me and make something good out of it.

perhaps it is with this understanding of where God is and what He's doing, WHILE he's going through his valley, that made Paul (or James I forgot... ;X) write about how he took joy in his sufferings.

i dunno why my life seems to be a series of breakthroughs and dips. i've asked God about it, but it seems the norm. i dun always understand why i have to live life like this when i'm in the midst of it. but i rmb pst saying how living in victory does not mean feeling high & at the top of your game 24/7. it feels good to be able to say u're feeling the way u're feeling, without feeling that i'm condemned for wallowing in my emotions. whew. ;D

with christ in the vessel i can smile at the storm, smile at the storm, smile at the storm~

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