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=) This week's service was GREAT! Lol... I was so tired from - ironically enough - SLEEPover, & waking up early (early is an understatement; we have to create a word to describe 'obscenely early') to accompany Aileen for her hospi-ministry! When Pastor started his introduction, knowing it was one of the 4 F's to start the year, I was so prepared to write down 'fortitude' - you know, wow, something new! When Pastor said, 'Faith', I was like, 'oh oh,' cos I knew I might fall asleep! X''@

BUT really.. timely Word! ;) Especially when school is starting out, work is getting into motion, projects, assignments, looming (already!) mid-terms... I really need faith = CONFIDENCE, an assurance in God that He'll be with me, NOW! ;D

It was really a revelation to me that God wants us to be confident IN Him, and that this confidence is what can help us succeed our there in the marketplace! When I was struggling with my insecurities just last year, the idea was unpalatable to me! Somehow, even while knowing the truth, it's so easy to think humility equates to thinking lowly of oneself, being self-deprecating & others-centred. I used to view young people rising up in church with some envy, & with a little cyncism. In my heart, I would wonder if all that hype & popularity & glowing reports would blow them up; if that confidence I saw was due to SELF-confidence. Even now, I would think it a bit hard to differentiate. Though of course, it doesn't really matter. Everyone's in a process of growing. ;D

Yea, that's what i wanna say lor - stepping out isn't just psyching yourself to believing that God will, MUST show up if you sacrifice etc. - it's putting confidence in God FIRST even without proof of His taking any action, ESPECIALLY when it's hard to place confidence in YOURSELF, so that your actions will be out of conviction & purposeful, with no sign of giving into your fears. That's when you start changing the environment around you. It's not just X-factor, or charisma, or great leadership potential - it's choosing to just let God use u!

But yea~ I'm so glad for the Word! During ministry, it was just so awesome to see Pastor laying hands on the CG leaders cos I know that the anointing will flow down to us! XD Yay... thank God for breakthrough!


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As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…


Haven't given much attention to the news ever since work started, so yeah, the General elections were an eye-opener, but absolutely no clue about the upcoming Presidential elections. Something I don't like about the media (and ironically, social media): its limited scope - it cannot possibly capture the feelings of the mass majority, yet so much weightage is given to what is published. Inevitably, the loudest voice gets heard, not necessarily the wisest or the more representative.

Just watched American History X again. Dunno, some days you just feel prepared to take on the violent stuff you know? (As evident, movies like this just give me sleepless nights...)

So, 0236 hours. What am I thinking... Well, it doesn't take much for us to hate. Us, as in, any human. It doesn't even matter if we really went through stuff, like how the main characters' father got murdered. All it takes is for us to get the perception that we were wronged, our rights were withheld or stolen…

hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…