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vision...

This week's the 1st week of 2008 - naturally, it was all about goal-setting. But frankly, time and again, whenever Pst talks about being focused on your calling from God, there'd literally be a big question mark floating around the vicinity of my head. Not because I don't get what he's saying, or even WANT to get it, but that I seriously dunno what's my calling. Am I already somehow in it, without begin consciously aware of making that decision? *scratch head... aiya.. why i dunno... X@



Hmmm.. but despite that, I'm very encouraged by remarks like:

- 'But I somehow feel the peace about u studying what u're studying now' - Jean, the prophetess, in a period when I was anxious about the possibility of my being in the wrong place completely.

- 'Oh, environmental! U very far-sighted!' - i-forgot-who-but-still-very-grateful-for-that-remark



Lol.. not that i'm trying to be justified by people, but that i trust that God is using them to assure me. Dug up this small piece of notepaper this afternn, at a time when i was praying n surfing the net like crazy, trying to decide what in the world to major in in university.



-Comlumbia U - Environmental science & policy, under School of International & Public Affairs

--> X require: economics & bio (for the life of me, I have no idea why)

- Georgetown - major in Science, Technology & International Affairs, Env. track

--> X require: SAT, strong math (econ not a must but entering it)

- JHU - energy, environment, science & tech.

- Stamford - Energy Resources Engineering

--> work experience, Graduate Records Exam



Even though I didn't have the guts to go pursue studies in these schools, i'm heartened that i've been centred around my area of study and that my list doesn't consist of some weird combination of studies.

I really really thank God for reminding me of a desire and a conversation I had with my cousin Tim! It was badly needed! Before my exam results came out, I was seriously so discouraged about my mediocrity in handling Physics (if there's anything i can't stand is the thought of being mediocre in my studies) that I wanted to transfer course or just take a gap year. I dunno how i could forget reading up about what World Vision is doing, and having the desire to add to their team the expertise of an environmental engineer. I remember in those uncertain months before choosing my course of study, that i talked my plans out with Tim who is taking his masters in some deeply science-y stuff. He was so encouraging about how what i was planning to take was RELEVANT to what i wanted to do! If anything, Tim believes in 'changing the world', whether that is idealistic or not, i feel it's FAR better than entering a career-line for the money.

All in all, i'm pretty excited about starting semester 2. Already, I'm physically tired - the obvious sign: having both my legs cramping up when i'm asleep! - but i feel good that it's just warming me up for the next sem. I don't want to have false illusions that things will be easy, that i'll somehow morph into this ideal student who is CONSISTENT (><) and blah blah blah. But at least i wanna know what i'm going to get into, & be prepared to pay the price. Yay... glad i got that off my chest. =) Need your prayers!

Comments

albertina said…
I just wanted to say that I think environmental science suits you very well, in my opinion. :) I can imagine you as a tree-hugger. Totally! Just joking. But seriously, don't worry too much abt finding your calling or your path. Just believe God is leading you there and one day, you'll know that you were where you were meant to be all along.

The steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord. It's taken from the bible, someone in Psalm or Proverbs, not too sure. But I paraphrased it. Haha.

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