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2008 is 2 days old but i haven't had the time to sit down & do some introspection. No resolutions, no goals - not yet. XD ok, maybe a short-term one right now would be to 'stop coughing like an old woman' so I can huff & puff more constructively at the park or something.

Whining aside, today's been my 2nd day training at the airport store. =) Think Bruce Almighty's 'Good, good'. Really wanna thank God for favor in the sense that He's totally brought so many new people in my life, tt have a purpose, a direction, maturity beyond their years, & a really cool personality. It reminds me a little of cell group, when i think of the training we go through. Of course, instead of having the effect of replacing the role of my churchmates in my life (which is quite impossible despite e problems we still have), I've really seen how much my years in this church has molded me.

Sometimes i get pressured by the thinking that 'i'm unique, celebrate the difference!', which is what God thinks of every individual & yet heaps the responsibility of my own future on me. Every decision suddenly is life-changing. But i've realized thru training & being placed in circumstances where u either swim or drown, that my years of just being in church & subtly being influenced and shaped by the values, that to be truthful, i can no longer say that I'm average or normal, but that while there's nothing special abt me, there's something I can always bring into everything I do. That no one else can.

It's one thing to be tired, it's another thing to let your shoulders slump, let your emotions loose, & allow yourself to blow things up by sighing & getting frustrated over the long ride home, ending class late, having to go back for another day of training etc. Seriously, there's so many things to get upset over!

But thank God, that when I'm just there, not trying to be more than I am - that the Holy Spirit is truly the one within that keeps me from being less than who I am. I guess that is the strength that we always hear ppl thanking God for - that inexplicable sustenance that keeps the smile coming easily, the heart soft to encourage others in spite of circumstances, the ability of the will to keep deciding that things will work out fine...

2008 - God, let this be YOUR year.


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But I made it back with my life. And I'm humbler for the attempt, though how could I resist the parting shot: "I'll be back!"?

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The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

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And O…