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Ah... I Think I Understand

I shall post in points... my thoughts are flying all over the place. I've noticed that about myself sometimes - how I'd be looking everywhere & noting funny things while people are talking to me. Maybe that's why I feel that people feel that I don't really care. >< lol..

  • physically, my finger is blue-blacked from washing too many dishes - FAST; bumps & scrapes from doing stupid things like banging straight into the oven door, or cycling in jeans and getting my legs tangled in the gears. HAHA. Sorry.. I just find it amusing. ;)
  • listening to Praise 106.5 online (www.praise1065.com) is a really great way of getting to know new Christian songs!
  • suddenly i want to write songs, learn to dance (as in taking action to... T.T), get organized, repaint my room, save up for clothes & an IKEA sofa for my bare room (i know i know) & go to Sentosa to play (try to) beach volleyball.
  • a quote from 'Goodnight Mister Tom' - "How could anyone not want to live, thought Will, when there were so many things to live for. There were rainy nights and wind and the slap of the sea and the moon. There were books to read and pictures to paint and music."
  • It's good to be alive. Not because my organizer is filled with activities, future parties, the prospect of fellowship with my CG members who are so incredibly different yet so loved, but also because in all these, I'm experiencing & seeing God's deposition of love in the people He brings into my life. And it's good to be alive, because I will never be separated from God unless it is I who chooses to draw away. And even then, He draws me near. I cannot express how secure that makes me feel.
  • learning to be content now but excited & expectant for the future. there's a need to get on that fine, narrow line between the 2 extremes.
  • ;) 4 cute babies in 2 days - i love it when they catch ur eye & start chuckling to themselves, peeping out from behind their moms/dads & waving. Heh.
  • It was GREAT to just hang out & do some CNY shopping with Ber, La & Jean the other day. Though it was after work/school for us all, & Leen was down with fever (GET WELL SOON!), I was so edified by their compliments, & how they had the capacity to focus on u & be so encouraging. 'You can only give what you've received' - I wanna be like these 3 sweet gals~! ;D
  • Bought a top that's been an idea in my head ever since I saw Sandy wear it while acting in a play sometime last year. Happy with it! ;D Good investment. It's quite rare to find a top that attains the approval of all shopper-pals present!

The main point though is that i'm beginning to understand what it means to 'lean on God's strength'. Only a few days ago, when I was feeling down after church (not BECAUSE of church), I was wondering HOW on earth do u lean on God for strength? It's hard to express. There's no list of formulas or steps to follow, or definitive directions, only descriptions of the effects. So here goes. I find that in between sleeping, squeezing in leisure time for reading & blogging & surfing, school admin stuff & work, there's no longer the 'sian-ded' emotion or angst. Albeit there being lots of occasions for it. Mistakenly rushing to school early in the morning today for example, & sitting in an empty classroom for all of 20min before realising lessons start NEXT week (Oooohhh is it???)... & hence depriving myself of a much needed 5 additional hours of sleep...

But then it took only 5 minutes of (><'''''''''''''')-ness before I was able to laugh at myself. Lol... I found myself thinking of Aileen's post. ;D Well.. that's what i mean i think. I thought that my enthusiasm to work & study would die out by now, but always a song, a thought abt God, & then it's as if my body starts running on strength that isn't my own. I would know, existing on 5 hrs of sleep daily - my JC pre-exam quota. Still, God's joy is present. The results: being able to exchange smiles with commuters instead of staring past people staring past you, being able to be genuine in conversing with customers, being able to be myself with my friends, being able to walk with a song in my heart. ;D Praise God!

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