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Gosh - I think the hardest thing about thinking or introspection, is abt how you portray yourself to ppl. I know opinionated ppl really push my buttons, but funny how I can come across pretty annoying sometimes. Haha.. I think that's one part I really need to face - my own contradictory nature, not others'.

Today's service was really good, in that it was totally 0 hype, 50% disciplining yourself, 50% move of God.

I was really (really really really) tired. Like stoning on my feet. First time tt I actually felt how hard it is to tell ur body that you don't wanna sleep, you wanna get this cos it really applies to you! And really.. God really moved when I moved. It's awesome! So many things that I've heard preached and talked about, things I've learnt as fact by accepting it, now I'm experiencing it like having a 'first time' every week!

Things like, 'discipline', when I'd just heard a message on it days before, I'll be challenged to do it. And then it's really, wow! So this is what it feels like to experience it on my own, not just hearing about it from others or through sermons!

So I'm really preparing myself to experience another first - a financial breakthrough!!! If there is one thorn in the flesh for me, it's parting with money. AAAHHH.. I dun wanna grow up to be a person who rolls up my notes in this tight bundle stuffed away in my shoe la... so here's a big THANK YOU to God cos I KNOW and BELIEVE and TRUST, YES YES YES, that my finances will receive a breakthrough. I don't believe in money falling from heaven; but I do believe in money that God has set aside for me =D


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As Sy Rogers said today, there are things we can look back on, our memorial stones, that encourage us and give us strength to move forward. I rmb a time I was so far away and so tired of people in general, cos really it's relationships that really get me down - n when Jean would walk in on me crying or just sitting and not even having the energy to do stuff, she would listen n say 'just cry out to God alright?' and that would be the last thing i wanted to hear. sometimes you know what to do, and you know what the advice will be, but when the emotions are not there, an…

hello from the other side

hello to the old me (6 years, yikes!)

hello from someone who's discovered that old is just another word for diminishing physical capacity, but increasing everything-else capacity!

The old me would have said, I should have posted more regularly and I shall post more often now... but I'm glad in hindsight that I held to my belief that I should only post when I've something positive to contribute. Not just words, but how they are birthed. Words written without vanity. And words written not to solicit approval in replacement of the lack of it elsewhere. Words that aren't hurried through the time needed to process and ruminate over the experiences of the past few years (dramatic in some aspects, mundane in most so all in all pretty much as per everyone else's I would expect!).

Still, a little mortifying to realise that I don't know how to work the buttons (!) and to realise I'd forgotten so many things, and yet in some respects, am still entirely the same.

And O…


Haven't given much attention to the news ever since work started, so yeah, the General elections were an eye-opener, but absolutely no clue about the upcoming Presidential elections. Something I don't like about the media (and ironically, social media): its limited scope - it cannot possibly capture the feelings of the mass majority, yet so much weightage is given to what is published. Inevitably, the loudest voice gets heard, not necessarily the wisest or the more representative.

Just watched American History X again. Dunno, some days you just feel prepared to take on the violent stuff you know? (As evident, movies like this just give me sleepless nights...)

So, 0236 hours. What am I thinking... Well, it doesn't take much for us to hate. Us, as in, any human. It doesn't even matter if we really went through stuff, like how the main characters' father got murdered. All it takes is for us to get the perception that we were wronged, our rights were withheld or stolen…